I Did Not Marry My Best Friend

I’ve been hearing the same question quite a bit lately.

“How are you doing?  Really?”

My long answer is more complicated than a nod and “I’m doing fine.  We’re all doing fine.”

I am doing fine, and the kids are thriving in their new school system, which makes this momma very happy.  I’m learning my way around a town I left many, many years ago.

But the complete answer is, I don’t really know.

My thoughts are scrambling around in my brain like ping pong balls against a concrete wall, constantly being shot out of a cannon.  I can’t catch them, and if I can’t catch them, I can’t begin to understand them.  But there is one thing I know for sure.

I did not marry my best friend.

As time moves on, we’re learning more about each other.  And finding the differences that weren't so apparent when dating.  Or maybe they were, but they just didn't seem to matter at the time.

I’m not a big fan of hunting shows and football, other than WVU games.  Emmett could sit in front of the TV and watch either of those all day long.  Just try putting on a romantic comedy and the look on his face is priceless.  According to Emmett, that is why we have 3 televisions in the house.

He’s a meat and potatoes sort of guy, but will eat almost anything.  I’m more of a pasta and salad kind of girl, and extremely picky at that.  Although if you add bacon to just about anything it tends to make it better.

Through various discussions we’re finding that there is quite a bit we don’t agree on.  The fact that we’re both stubborn and highly independent people makes for some interesting conversations.  I’m crazy about animals, I have been since I was a little girl.  Emmett is crazy about animals too, if they’re on his dinner plate.

I’m used to doing what I want, when I want, and so is Emmett.  Now we have each other to think about.  It’s definitely not easy, considering someone else when making decisions.

Putting completely different families together, is a learning process that we're making our way through.

I don’t like to use the term ‘blended family’ because that implies that we were all thrown into a blender and come out similar size and consistency.  It’s not really like that at all. We’re more like a big bag of trail mix, all different shapes and sizes and personalities thrown into the same container.

But even with all of these changes and dissimilarities and stubborn opinions, I’m crazy in love with my husband.

I fall more in love with him every day.  I love him for the differences and the quirks and the things that make him the man he is.

Yes, we’re different in some ways, but in the ways that count we’re in complete agreement.  The more I get to know him, the more I admire him.  He is a strong Christian man who practices what he believes, in a world where that is no longer the norm.  He is one of the hardest working men I have ever known.  He’s generous and kind, and is constantly helping others.  He inspires me to want to be more like that - selfless and thoughtful.

He is a man who actually does what he says he’s going to do.  He won’t promise the moon and stars and show up with a flashlight as a consolation prize.  If he promises you something, he will do everything in his power to make it happen.

He’s talented, creative, and is an amazing Dad.  He puts on a gruff exterior, but he truly cares about his family and would do anything for them.  There is no doubt he puts too much on his plate, works a lot harder than he needs to and after a long day still comes home to build me a cabinet or install an appliance.  But I see the love he has for me when I look at the cabinet he built with his own hands.  Or the flowers he surprised me with at work.  He truly is an amazing individual, and I am thankful that God led me to him.

No, he isn't my best friend.  Not at all.  But he’s better than that.  He’s my husband, my counterpart in life, the one who holds my heart.

I made the right decision moving here, marrying Emmett, changing jobs and changing lives.  The right decision for me and for my kids.

It’s not an easy road, I didn't truly expect it to be, but there isn't another person I would rather walk it with.

I’m a lucky girl, not to have married her best friend, but the person God picked out for her.  As always, God knew what He was doing.

I just need to remember that the next time we’re watching How to Skin a Deer Six Different Ways or The Best Moments of Professional Football Marathon instead of Pride and Prejudice…