From the beginning

I have written anything in ages.
And I have been asked many, many, times how I met my new husband.
So here is the story...

I knew I would love him before I ever met him.
That thought scared me, those feelings scared me.  I didn't want to get hurt again.  I had a heart that had been shattered and pieced back together with fragile thread.  So although I knew that I would love Emmett from the very beginning of our real life relationship, it wasn't something I embraced willingly.  
And I had a very hard time with belief in commitment, because there was a possibility that one day he might just disappear.

We met online, I had commented on furniture he made.  I needed a dining room buffet and I liked his style.  We started to talk, and months later, the talk turned to something besides friendship.
Our talks were centered on two strangers who would never meet in person.  We were immediately close in ways that take months for others in real life.  There was the anonymity of the internet, of a keyboard and a chat window.  He didn't ever have to look in my eyes and see who I was in person.  He was safe, someone to encourage me and be there for me.
We shared experiences, I was selling a house and he was selling furniture.  We were both navigating the painful world of dating after divorce.  Not something either of us relished.
It was obvious there was something there, and finally, after months of chatting our conversations turned to meeting each other.  We set a date, he was going to drive out to Indy and meet me in person.
I was scared witless.
What if, after all this time, he didn't like me?  What if he thought I was uglier in person, than I was in pictures?  Most of my fears centered on him not liking me, not the other way around.  But I had hopes and aspirations and I prayed that maybe, just maybe, he would be the one.
Although I came close to cancelling altogether, to just staying friends, the day finally came that we would meet face to face.
I was literally shaking.  I paced, I wondered, I worried.
If we had kept a virtual relationship then I could still him as a friend.  As it was, I didn't know what was going to happen.
And when he came walking up the sidewalk carrying a handful of yellow carnations, I knew that it, at least for me, it was over.  His eyes were blue, a beautiful shade of blue.  His smile made my heart turn somersaults.  He was finally standing in front of me, and I felt like I already knew him.  
When I hugged him it felt like coming home.
I felt safe and right where I was supposed to be.
Needless to say we got along just as well in person as we did online.
And as I got to know him, I found that he was even better in person than he was online.  He was someone with faults and idiosyncrasies, but then again, so was I.  I found that the perfect online image was replaced with someone much, much better.  Better because he was real.
And I could easily love the flesh and blood version of the man who walked up my sidewalk clutching those flowers, with his crooked smile I now love so much.

But although ours was a typical boy-meets girl love story, there was an element that wasn't typical. Something that made things work even though they probably shouldn't have.
I had my issues, he had his.  There was the distance, the travel, the time.  My fear of what was around the next corner. My ever present fear of getting hurt.
But through it all we had that special something going for us.  We had God on our side, He brought us together.  He had a big hand in everything, from the very beginning.
Even before we met I told Emmett that God brought us together for a reason.  Two people sharing similar life stories, there to understand each other.
But as usual God had bigger plans for us.  Bigger than anything I could have fathomed from the beginning.
We went from friends to newlyweds.
And I am very, very happy with that plan.
As usual, I have no idea what our future will look like.  But I know that it will be wonderful.

n