Life is Good

 

 

 

“Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am…”

When I was young, my family would go to the beach every year.  I love the ocean.  I love the sound of the waves crashing against the shore.  The gentle pull of the salty tide as your feet sink into the soft sand.  Sitting on the shore staring at the moon’s reflection against the endless expanse of sea, dreaming of life and who you are going to be.

I am a dreamer, my head is filled with dreams and wishes and things that haven’t happened yet.  But in all those years that I found myself at the ocean walking along the beach, wondering what next year would be like, I never once imagined this.  A young girl who believed in romance and fairy tales, innocence and love, never could begin to comprehend the brutalities that life could bring. 
But here I am, in a place I never imagined I would be.  On a road I didn’t plan, living a life that I had never dreamed of.  I am no longer the innocent girl spending summers on the shore, picturing a perfect life where everything is laid out exactly as I wanted it to be.
For a long time that wasn’t okay.  It wasn’t okay at all.  Thankfully God saw my future, and laid out my path.  He led me towards a road that I wasn’t even sure was there.  He knew that one day I would smile and laugh.  I would feel peace, and I would feel joy.  And one day, the scars would be healed so that I could love again.  He kept us safe and protected as we walked through the most difficult moments, and cleared the trees so that I could finally see.
Right now, I believe that I’m right where God wants me to be.
I’m not the best parent in the world, but I’m doing the best I can raising four absolutely amazing children that I love with everything that is in me.  They are a part of my soul, and I need them as much as they need me.
Life isn’t perfect, it isn’t the idyllic world that I had pictured so long ago on the shores of the East Coast, feeling the waves lap against my feet.  But it’s my life, and I am going to enjoy it because as I learned the hard way, tomorrow might be nothing like today.
And today is pretty good.

Life, is good.