Pondering

I've written and deleted a few posts this week. But my writing always reflects what I'm going through, and they were coming out kind of depressing.
So I'm trying again.
Although I'm facing another birthday (Monday!), I think I'm too old to be concerned about my health. Initially it was the exhaustion, and that led to blood work and a thyroid check. They found nodules on the thyroid and they need to determine if they're cancerous.
I'm okay with that - I know several people with thyroid issues that don't have cancer. I'm sure that test will turn out fine. And even if it is cancer, I read that thyroid cancer is very treatable.
But then I started getting these 'ice pick' headaches. They were accompanied by hearing issues, and weakness in my hands. I've also had spasms in the heart area. Sometimes I get dizzy, and feel a bit detached.
Kevin is telling me I have a brain tumor and I kept waving him off. But the headaches were so odd I finally went to a doctor. They want to do a CT scan to rule out any 'head issues'. By that they mean tumors. Ughhh.
I'm sure everything will turn out fine. That my issues and headaches will go away, and the scan will show nothing.
But there's that little piece inside of me that says, what if?
There are people all over the world who get brain tumors. People just like me, and I'm sure they thought there was nothing wrong with them, either.
But I'm not going to think like that. I have four birthdays to celebrate in the next week or so (me, my mom, Gwen, and Lex) - and Thanksgiving coming up. After that, Christmas.
Still, I think I'll be praying extra hard for the next month or so.
Just in case.