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Welcome to the hectic years

Hi, I'm Mindi.

And this is our Hectic Life.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Apartment Lessons Learned

There are five of us and a dog in an apartment that is less than 1000 sq ft.  To say that it's cozy is an understatement.  In any case, I have learned some lessons that I feel compelled to share with others.

1 - Privacy is overrated.
The first day we were here the kids broke the twisty thingy on the patio blinds.  Now the entire world can (and does) stare at us every night.  I've grown quite used to it, and like to wave at the people who walk by peering inside our apartment at dusk, wondering what the crazy lady and all those kids are doing at night.  I like to grab a margarita from the freezer and mouth 'want one?' after which they turn around and look at the sky, pretending they weren't just spying on us.
2 - It is entirely possible to be in the kitchen, dining room, and living room at the same time. 
I am proud to say I accomplished this feat.
3 - It's somewhat difficult to enforce the 'no eating in the living room' rule, when the dining room IS the living room.
4 - Sending kids to their rooms doesn't really work. 
Especially when you hear them talking right next to you afterwards, and you holler "I said go to your room or no TV for a week!" You hear silence, and then a voice saying, somewhat confused "But I AM in my room." You look down the hall to find that this is, indeed, true.  Experiencing this might make you feel a bit embarrassed as a mom.  But I totally didn't learn this one firsthand.
5 - It is entirely possible to find six ice-cube trays, empty, in the freezer. 
So much for the rule of odds, assuming that the more trays you buy the more likely you will find at least one ice cube that is frozen.  The kids haven't learned how to turn the handle thing (normally referred to as a faucet) that causes water to come out, and therefore fill up the plastic trays and put them in the freezer.  Too many steps to follow I think.
6 - I can't let the kids play outside.
The kids walked outside to play in the postage stamp lawn in front of the apartment.  I followed five minutes later to find a Frisbee on the roof, a ball that had been hit across the road, and Lex trying to climb a tree about four feet high.  And Gwen towing a neighbor girl down the sidewalk on roller blades with a broom handle.
I sincerely have no idea how I got the nickname of 'The crazy lady with all of the kids'.  What do they know.
7 - Spending time outside at an apartment causes children to multiply.
While grilling dinner one night, going in and out, I suddenly noticed that I no longer had four children.  I had six.  And they were drinking Kool-Aid's from the refrigerator.  Huh.
8 - An apartment gives you more time do to useless things.
Instead of gardening and mowing lawns and caring for horses, I find myself doing things such as 'exercising' and hiding healthy things in food.  Then laughing (in an evil maniacal kind of way) because my daughter who is 'allergic' to anything green (or healthy) just ate spinach.  And turkey tacos.  And drank almond milk. 
The things you do when you have extra time on your hands.
9 - Our television is the size of a movie theatre screen on the wall.
This one is kind of cool.  Who needs space?  The kids no longer hear 'Move back, you'll hurt your eyes!'  If they moved back any further, they would be in hallway between apartments.
10 - There are many things I will never take for granted again. 
SPACE is number one.
Ice maker is on the list, along with the sprayer on the sink, a dishwasher that actually works, and not having a herd of stampeding Buffalo living above me.  Really people, it's THREE AM!  I have no idea why they feel the need to run up and down the hallway, shaking the entire apartment below, in the dead of night. 
Garages are really nice, as are driveways.  I kind of miss my yard, too.
11 - The most important thing that I have learned while being here....I CAN'T WAIT TO MOVE!!
Three more weeks.  I can do this.  Only three more weeks :)

But you know what I'm going to do before I leave?
I'm going to climb on the roof above my neighbors apartment and run back and forth with weights on my feet.  Just so they understand where I'm coming from.


Anonymous May 14, 2013 at 5:37 PM  

I lived in an apartment for one year. A two bedroom, by myself. It was brand new, and I was miserable. And I only had one neighbor, who was silent. However, I learned from the apartment that my honey lived in that a broom to the ceiling is almost as good as stomping on the floor. So is bouncing tennis balls off of the ceiling, or basketballs.

Anonymous May 14, 2013 at 5:37 PM  

'Anonymous' is Chris :)

mindi May 14, 2013 at 6:12 PM  

Great idea Chris!!!! I will be handing the kids a broom and telling them to crush the spiders on the ceiling. I will get them up @3am to do this.
Problem solved :)

mindi May 14, 2013 at 6:12 PM  

Great idea Chris!!!! I will be handing the kids a broom and telling them to crush the spiders on the ceiling. I will get them up @3am to do this.
Problem solved :)

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