Reason #675 Why I am Single

To avoid the tiny apartment we live in, I have picked up a new, healthy habit of jogging.  There is a track that circles a playground down the road and the kids play while I get in some exercise.
Everyone wins. 
Usually.

As I am running around the track and the kids have finally stopped throwing mulch and running alongside me, asking for a hug or to hold my hand, Mr. Handsome shows up with his kids. He nods and I smile as I am running past. I look semi-dedicated, with my arm strap thingy holding my phone and a nice new pair of rainbow running shoes.  An entire 1.5 miles completed, with only a brief pause to give a hug or a stern look to stop mulch throwing.
He gives me the interested look. I am encouraged. After all, where else can I meet people but at work and Chuck-e-cheese?
Then my 3 year old comes charging after me screeching loudly as if she had just stepped on a bee hive.  She was so loud, even my running music could not drown her out.  I gaze longingly down the track, I am almost to a stopping point after five laps, and realize that she has caught the attention of Mr. Handsome AND the people in  the next neighborhood.  And quite possibly, the pilot in the plane flying overhead.
Her deafening screams grow louder. 
I know she is fine, I can tell by the pitch of her scream, but I grit my teeth and pause my run to help her.  I find out she has an offensive band-aid stuck to her bangs and can't get it off. While she is madly flailing her arms, the Band-Aid flutters to the ground. Problem solved.
I turn to continue my run (almost done now, really) she takes her shoes off and throws them at me. Then screeches for me to help her put them on. Mr. Handsome is thinking I am as attractive as a rattlesnake by this point.
I finally get to finish my marathon level two mile run and stop to play with the kids while cooling down. Mr. Handsome wanders over. We start to talk.
We discuss random things while our children are hanging on the jungle gym or walking on the wave.  Inside, I am begging the kids to please please please don't embarrass me.  Five minutes, just five minutes of non-embarrassing behavior.
Lex has my phone at this point and is playing music, loudly.
All is good.
Then Gwen catches my attention and says Lex is saying a bad word.  Lex wanders over.  He says he saw a word on a slide, and it's not a bad word.  He tries to pronounce it and he says 'pennis' as in 'tennis'. 
I am confused. Gwen says he is saying a bad word. I, not so bright, say 'what bad word is that?'
She whispers to Lex and grins at me. He frowns, and very loudly repeats the real pronunciation of the word.
I turn bright red, smile, and walk away.
So much for embarrassment.  My kids take it to a whole new level.
Next week, reasons #756-800 why I am still, and might always be, single.

In truth, it's all good.  We might get up to 10,000 reasons before it's all said and done.
But in the end, the kids are more than worth it.  After all, it makes for funny stories I can't wait to embarrass them with when they are 16 and going to prom.